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Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
10:42 pm - The only thing is - I've had an operation
Did anyone watch/participate in the latest "test the nation" installment last night? i gotta admit it was fun. we chanced upon it by accident and the two hours flew past. Even Bruno joined in - probably scored better than I . It was funny to see Chris Knox on there, smiling away in agreement with everyone - was it due to embarrasment or did he really find it all quite funny?

I smile in the silence.
Why did they seat me in the middle?
Should I really be showing this many teeth?
I'm sure she can see my wisdoms.
They're up this week.
Up and down like her and I tonight, i wish.
They shouldn't still be playing tricks.
I'm in my late twenties.

No one knows what to say and i'm wearing my corduoys
and blue vest and why did i dress like this?
Naturally I get asked to speak first.
It's just my luck. I don't have a precedent.
It's like in School when i was chosen to show my Geography
assignment to the class first and two minutes into it
from the laughter I concluded that I'd interpreted the instructions
all wrong
All wrong.

I have to go first. and they want me to stand up.
I clear my throat and begin.
I'm an alcoholic. but that's not why i'm here.
I'm a poet.
And two minutes into it from the laughter I can tell
that my Mother's opinion doesn't count for much
and it was just wrong to come here.
All wrong





I got some more GBV live shows in the mail today - from good old Jack in Texas. They're brilliant.
Also today we went out the playcentre, just the three of us and Nat cleaned it up while Bruno and I played. he did a good drawing - he's getting really good at that sort of thing - although i'll have to take points off him for erasing my "Throstle snake " drawing from the chalkboard.
I slept in till 10 o'clock this morning, too. grand!
I went to work and avoided my boss. I've been asked to make an appointment to see the principal. he's mad at me because my cleaning isn't very good. Which I readily admit. hell i'm not a cleaner.

Oh yeah, i nearly forgot:

MEMORY OF THE DAY

When i was about umm, 20???? I was working at Blue Star in the inward/outward goods dept. and i had to sign off purchase/work orders etc. I was real bored over time so i started signing them stuff like, I dunno, BONO and B.GATES and A.AGASSI and, the biggie, A.EINSTEIN. My boss, a mean Austrian , did a random check and saw the latter one. So he called me up and said, "how do you sign my name" and i showed him and he said " well, this signature i have here looks like Albert Einstein"
I got in big trouble but by the time i came back downstairs everyone on th e floor was laughing and i had a new nickname that lasted for the rest of the duration of my employment there - Albert.

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Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
12:32 am
Four days now without a cigarette. It isn't too bad really - I'm being adult about it. I can remember the second-to -last time i quit, for 2 and a half years, and a lot of people said that I mustn't have been a real smoker, because i coped okay. Would it please them if i clawed the walls and searched thru drawers? probably. But it's better to hold it inside and do other things. Having said that, i'm dying for a smoke. Habits are extremely studiable things. Why did i even stop? True to form, I didn't know that I was going to. But I'd promised myself that I'd give up a section of my vices.Quitting smoking was an afterthought - and a damn beneficial one really, if it pans out. The other vices I won't mention here. How many vices does the average person have? Roy? Sam? Loren? Quite a lot really huh. I know I have a lot. Some I probably won't find out until I'm presented with an opportunity.

CAPS LOCK ON AND THE X AND O KEYS SMUDGED
I SWAPPED THE KEYS AROUND
AND YOU TOLD YOUR LOVER "I WUKT YEN"
But he didn't
stop
mailing you and coming
around to our
house to howl outside our french doors
and leave daisys in the mailbox.
scratch marks on the lawn.

I confront you about it and you tell me to "LISS OVV"
So I see you've both developed a code
Or should i say
I developed it for you

PLEASE NOTE THAT MY POEMS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MY REAL LIFE.


Today Bruno and I went and had our usual Hot brekkie in Kaitaia while Nat was at her ED-TEAM meeting. I love our little 2 hour jaunts. It's better than sitting at home, especially in Winter. We also went into the Warehouse and I let Bruno run wild round the store. he went straight to the gumboot section and found the perfect pair of blue plain gumboots for himself. Maybe a size too big, but that's ok. cheap too. i didnt buy them and I should have, as they were the last pair left. Someone in the shop commented that he was " a wise old man on little feet" and i guess they summed him up okay.
We got home to a lovely parcel from Antony in Invercargill. More GBV. He has a wadd of 7inches that i dont have and i asked him how much, and he said make an offer and i said I couldn't do that. GBV records go for heaps on ebay - especially these outta-printers. Stuff like the "always crush me" split single with ummm.. someone. exciting for a junkie like me.

MEMORY OF THE DAY: For Loren's benefit. The SA cricket team had just arrived and we were discussing it with Schwarz. i mentioned how Graeme Smith would get rattled by the NZ bowlers and Schwarz said "watch him fall onto his stumps"
Loren have you seen/heard from Schwarz or Butler?

Song of the Day:"Gelatin, Ice Cream, Plum" by Guided by Voices. maybe 80 percent of the spectrum of human emotions is packed into this 90 second ditty. it's a harsh tune, but dig deep and you'll find the melody. Give it 6 or 8 listens to let it begin to gnaw.

Also listened to today: well, heaps.Ryan Adams live show in Norway, '02. It's ok. the audience are very quiet.A cross-fade mix cd i did. "Pollard's Wastebasket". Some Bic Runga. some Pluto, some more GBV.

Book: "eleven minutes" by Paulo Coelho. I must get back to it. it's due back soon.


Poem which will be published in drill next week:

IN VIDEON

It must be fate
Or Something to do with the moon
Being Full and close to the earth

As full as your lips.

We're both wearing green.
I stand a metre behind you and breathe in your Dove shampoo smell
As you finger the new releases
with interesting nail polish

I want that title too
Perhaps I could share it with you tonight?
I have four dollars
I was just going to rent some cheap weekly hire -
a horror?
But maybe we could, y'know, double up?

You turn and i can see that
you've had a spanish omelette for breakfast
- cute.
Our eyes caress....
And at that moment my hungover Uncle
emerges from behind the porn section curtain
A half dozen red tabs in his mitt, glowing.
he's still stinking of last night's crusade
thru Papakura
that 24 hour bar scent.

Slaps my back, leers and gurgles
- "who's this lovely lady?"
Givin' you a wink
and patting his pocket.
His breath is a shantytown
and his eyes, hell's dungeon.


"So it's a date, then?"

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Monday, June 23rd, 2003
7:25 pm - Written in February?
After another loss
We all laff at the 'loyal' flag
As the helicopter drags it thru the thick atmosphere
And yo ur comments cut and pack my lunch for tomorrow
:what a serving:
So we change subjects,
The dogs
War and peace
And the cricket
(my head on the desk at the end)
And I'm wondering if there's any subject
That I can't appease you in
That sloping grin and those supportive comments
(helping me climb the ladder)
Step by step , on the way past your heart
I'll live in sin just now
I'll eat out late ( 5 course, slow waiter)
But I'll be home to tuck you in

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Sunday, April 27th, 2003
9:36 pm
I love you all!
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<b> I love you all! <b\>
i have a sore nose from my son butting me. wish i could go to the blood bin, but the ref makes me play on.

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Friday, April 18th, 2003
1:56 am
go here now

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Friday, February 14th, 2003
12:57 pm - to leroy
© happy valentines day!

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